"Fresh from the Sheppard Newsroom, an NCSSM update. Shelby C. has gotten her letter of acceptance. The Newsroom would like to congratulate Shelby on her accomplishment, and ponder, why hasn't the Newsroom recieved its letter? And it doesn't have to be acceptance. Any letter from NCSSM would be dandy. Oh, wait this just in, the Sheppard Newsroom's mailman has not yet arrived. It appears he is just now putting letters in the mailboxes across the street. Readers, it appears that the Newsroom has at least one hour before any form of mail enters the box, NCSSM or not. We will keep you updated as further details are known."

"And in other news, Sarah stands for..."